Sorry, This Rooftop Is Occupied

Dec 24, 2013

Up on the rooftop
Reindeer pause,
Out jumps good ol' Santa Claus...

With all the rooftop beekeeping underway throughout the world, Santa may have some serious issues to consider tonight.

The “ho, ho, ho” may turn into a “ho, ho, ouch!”

What if Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer trips over a bee hive on a rooftop? Honey bees are rather grumpy this time of year, you know.  The queen bee, clustered inside the warmth of the hive, surrounded by worker bees, is not likely to issue a royal pardon. Guard bees will buzz out to defend their hive.

And they won't be just "pollen" Santa's leg. 

Before jolly ol' Saint Nicholas can say "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and on Blitzen," the Big Guy in the Red Suit (not an appropriate color for beekeepers) isn't feeling so good. Neither are the eight reindeer and the Red-Nosed One (now the Red-Nosed-Bulbous-One-That-Got-Stung-by-a-Bee.)

Indeed, this may prompt scientists to issue a white paper on "Santa Claus and the Pitfalls of Rooftop Beekeeping."

So, Santa, it might be a good idea to leave the red outfit at the North Pole tonight and don a professional bee suit with a zippered domed hood and leather gloves.  

Might also be a good idea, too, to tuck a smoker in your sleigh.